My wife, Emily, and I have been married for five years, and up until recently, I thought our relationship was rock solid. We’ve had our ups and downs like any couple, but nothing that ever made me seriously question our future together. That changed two weeks ago when I discovered something that has shaken me to my core, and now I’m contemplating divorce. Emily comes from a very close-knit family, which I admired at first. Her parents and siblings are always around, often unannounced, but I didn’t mind because family is important to her. I tried to be understanding, even when they would offer unsolicited advice or subtly criticize how I do things. I figured it was just part of being married to someone with such a tight family bond. However, about a month ago, I started noticing that Emily was acting a bit strange—more secretive than usual, hiding her phone whenever I walked into the room, whispering during phone calls, and making excuses to leave the house alone. When I asked her about it, she brushed it off, saying she was just planning a surprise for me. Last week, while she was out “shopping,” I received a message on Facebook from a mutual friend, linking me to a private group chat that Emily had apparently forgotten to log out of on our shared laptop. What I saw in that chat devastated me. Emily, her parents, and her two sisters were discussing an elaborate plan to convince me to sell our home—my childhood home, left to me by my late parents—so that we could buy a new house closer to her family. They were even talking about ways to manipulate me into thinking it was my idea, playing on my emotions about starting a family soon. The most gut-wrenching part? They were mocking me, calling me “gullible” and “too attached” to the past, saying that I wouldn’t even realize what was happening until it was too late. Emily was actively participating in this, agreeing with their every word. I confronted Emily that night, and she didn’t deny any of it. She tried to justify it by saying she thought it was in our best interest to be closer to her family, especially with us planning to have kids soon. She claimed that they weren’t trying to hurt me, but rather trying to do what was best for our future."AITA for considering divorce after my wife and her family broke my trust?"
I told her that if she had just talked to me about it directly, I might have considered it. But the fact that she was plotting behind my back with her family, making fun of me in the process, felt like the ultimate betrayal. I asked her how I could ever trust her again after this. She apologized profusely, saying she made a mistake and would never go behind my back again, but I’m not sure if I can believe her.
Now, I’m seriously considering divorce. The thought of staying married to someone who could deceive me so easily—and who had no problem involving her entire family in the deception—makes me sick to my stomach.
But at the same time, I’m questioning whether I’m overreacting. Emily insists that she had good intentions, and her family is acting like I’m the one being unreasonable by even thinking about leaving her over this.
So, am I the a&^#ole for considering divorce over this? Or are my wife and her family the real assholes for conspiring behind my back?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
I really gotta stop thinking these posts are gonna turn out how I think they are.... Because this one took a blind curve.
You are NTA. Your soon to be ex wife and family did more than just break your trust, they belittled you, they intended to manipulate you and they minimized your connection with your family home.
My advice , get out now before you have a child together and they grow up with a toxic mother that won't hesitate to manipulate them.
NTA. That's not something I could come back from either. The betrayal.
You caught her lying for a selfish reason, and she was sh*t talking you behind closed doors, the trust is gone dude. She's sorry because you found out, not because she made plans to emotionally manipulate you. I'm so sorry dude, whatever you decide to do I wish you luck.
D I V O R C E
NTA she could have been actual partner and speak with you how she wants to move close to her family. Instead she is sneakily trying you to force you out of your family home and sell it. Be careful since everyone is in her side and telling you are wrong....she might want to get pregnant to get her plan through....hope you took screenshots of that .
Disgusting behavior from all of them, immature and huge deception.
Sources: Reddit
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